Has anyone ever invited you to the premiere of a play they’re working on in a small, hole-in-the-wall
theatre in the city?
Did you buy them purple tulips?
Were you introduced to all their friends in the second to last booth of a Taco Bell Cantina
Has someone ever stuffed you in an Uber with their roommates, and you couldn’t attempt to find the
seatbelt without accidentally touching their ass?
And when you can’t find the seatbelt, did they splay their arm across your torso as a means to protect
you from flying through the windshield, the fuzz of their shaved head tickling your
Have you ever walked through the middle of suburban Queens to sit in a Latin bar that brought you
feeling that resembled home, and had two mojitos too many?
Did you hold hands with someone with ruby red drug store jewels at the corners of their eyes, all the
way back to their apartment without getting hate-crimed?
And you both collapsed onto their queen-sized mattress on their floor (no boxspring) and turned on
You obviously didn’t end up watching Gilmore Girls, did you?
You didn’t have sex, so you suddenly thanked your lucky stars because you had forgotten to shave that
morning, didn’t you?
Have you ever fallen asleep with someone while holding hands?
Did you then wake up in the middle of the night and wonder which one of you let go?
When you both finally got out of bed the next morning, did they make you scrambled eggs and a
hashbrown from the freezer with asiago and parmesan?
Were you in awe of their in-unit washer and dryer?
Did you eat your breakfast in bed while watching How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and lay your head on
their lap, their chipped nails scratching pleasing circles in your scalp?
Have you ever kissed someone’s salty, post-breakfast lips after watching a rom-com with a mildly
When you pulled away, did they smile?
Has someone other than your mother ever called you beautiful?
How did you feel when it didn’t work out?
RACHEL SARUSKI is a queer, Jewish-Latina playwright, poet, producer, and director. She recently graduated from Sarah Lawrence College, where she recieved the David Lindsay-Abaire Award for Excellence in Playwriting. She loves dogs, french fries, and being with her best friends <3.