CW: Racial Slurs
To grow old & Black in America is to search
among the names buried beneath & not find yours /
blooming.
My father can remember the white boy’s breath burning
up his nostrils after telling him this fountain ain’t for n— outside
the theater; spitting with his siblings from the balcony in response. They tell us things
have changed, that things will change, but
I can still hear n— ringing against my ears
from the blacktop in sixth grade during recess /
on the sidewalk in front of Siceluff Hall.
To know I share this language—
of burning & bullet wounds,
of books named after bodies of buildings named after bodies
of bridges named after bodies
of bodies named after bodies
tastes bittersweet.
How it has grown roots within my throat & that of my father’s
& of his father & of his & so on & so on …
until breath becomes a question
& death an answer.
B-Side
To grow old & Black
among the names
blooming.
My father spittin’ with his siblings.
They tell us things
I can still hear
this language—
how it has grown roots within
of my father
of his father
of his
& so on
& so on …
DAREN COLBERT is a writer and filmmaker from Missouri who's just trying to do his best. When he's not writing or making films, you can find him napping or watching a movie. Sometimes both. Okay, usually both. His work has been published or is forthcoming in Ghost Girls Zine, The Hyacinth Review, Moon City Review, Puerto del Sol, and elsewhere. He's on a quest for the perfect mango, so if you have any information that could help, please let him know.